Thursday, 14 February 2008

What's wrong with Britain - Petty Jobsworths

Britain is a shit place to live. People are stressed and harassed. We are over-governed. This is manifested in two ways: We pay far too much tax - especially the low paid, which means we have no resources available to fall back on when the going gets tough. But its not that: its the sheer unpleasantness of people in this godforsaken land - especially those in small authority. It is that British beast, the Jobsworth, who knows that he will be backed up by the full violence of the law even though he's abusing his position, who make life so intolerable.

In two incidents I picked up from the blogosphere, Bendygirl, who has severe mobility problems was abused by a manager of JD weatherspoons because she wished, quite reasonably to wait until the crush at the door moved on before her friends attemped to help her out at closing time. The second is a train guard, blocked a perfectly serviceable door and manhandled a woman in order to prevent her boarding, because the "stand clear" had already been called. The door was open at the time because the little bully was chatting to his union slug of a mate on the platform.

Once a decision is made, no-one in any form of petty authority ever backs down. They will continue to throw their weight around, and if you ever get frustrated at the injustice of it, they will not hesitate to call the police, and you will be prosecuted for assault (if you so much as touched him) or threatening behaviour: a section 24 offence (if you merely told him to fuck off). You cannot win.

Hi Visibility: the scourge of modern Britain

The police seem to enjoy this too. A man got himself threatened with a fire-arm and arrested (and put on the DNA database) for listening to a black Phillips MP3 player which someone myopically mistook for a gun. No-one said, "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, sir. Please go on your way". No! they kept up the violence until they had crushed every last ounce of authority out of the situation. Arrest, DNA and Detention. For nothing. I doubt he even got an apology.

When the police are just armed backup for every thug and bully who have managed to get themselves a high visibility vest and a job which involves herding the general public (Train guards, Bouncers, Parking attendants, Airport staff etc...), what respect do you think they get from the general public? The police have become the provisional wing of the Jobsworth movement.

Now, the police are supposed to serve a purpose, but when you're the victim of crime, you get no satisfaction from the useless cunts (unless you're dead). They will however stop you for being in possession of a motor car with intent to drive. (3 points, an increase of 20% in your insurance premium and a £60 fine). Or being in possession of a beard with intent to be Muslim (Indefinite detention without trial, if the Police get their way) So I ask again. Would the UK be a better or a worse place if the police just buggered off and left me to defend my property myself? I'd make a better fist of it than they do - because let's face it, burglary has been decriminalised!

If there were no Police, I certainly would be able to give jobsworth cunts the kicking they richly deserve, and the fear of kickings from the people they herd, may just persuade those who go to work in a high vis vest to be more polite and flexible to the general public. That will in turn make the UK a better more civilised place to live. Dead (and, if I catch them at it, extravagantly tortured) burglars and muggers would drop the crime rate. You'd be more polite to people if you thought they might kick your head in if you weren't. With no police, people would be forced to police their own neighbourhoods: community engagement! Perhaps then the herd will not go out and get drunk and act like animals. If you treat the people like scum, that's how they'll behave. The Pigs are failing so badly in their prime function (keeping the Queen's peace and preventing crime, in case you didn't know) that I'm not convinced we'd be worse off without them.

There's a saying in the Army: "if you need rank, you shouldn't have it". It's the same with the High vis vest and police backup.


Anonymous said...

This post is spot-on. Britons have become officious arrogant cunts wanking furiously over any power they get their grubby little hands on, no matter how slight it may be.

My wife, this Saturday past, got verbally abused by a taxi driver who didn't know how to get to her destination.

Amongst other things, he called her a "stupid bitch" and threatened to kill her if she slammed the door upon exiting. He also said he'd have her deported (she is American-born and, despite having citizenship of our septic isle, has the accent).


After finally arriving at the destination, he sat outside honking his horn for a good ten minutes (possibly because she had told him to go fuck himself as she exited).

Matters have been reported to the council so we'll see what happens.

Umbongo said...

"Matters have been reported to the council so we'll see what happens."

Nothing! Unless he (I assume it was a "he") reported her in which case you can expect a visit from some . . er . . jobsworth.

Joel said...

Good to see you reacting to Metro stories.

And yes, I couldn't agree more. High visability policing - ie in yellow jackets - is a scourge. And now they are all armed with batons, CS spray, and soon tasers. They do not make me feel safer. And neither does having armed police on the streets after a bomb attack - especially considering De Menezes.

Live and let live, heh?


Joel said...

Good to see you reacting to Metro stories.

And yes, I couldn't agree more. High visability policing - ie in yellow jackets - is a scourge. And now they are all armed with batons, CS spray, and soon tasers. They do not make me feel safer. And neither does having armed police on the streets after a bomb attack - especially considering De Menezes.

Live and let live, heh?


Anonymous said...

Their usual refrain is 'Sorry Sir, that's our policy.'

They are one of the most pathetic bunch of cunts you're likely to meet in your lifetime.

John B said...

"Now, the police are supposed to serve a purpose, but when you're the victim of crime, you get no satisfaction from the useless cunts (unless you're dead)."

I can't work out whether I've accidentally ended up on some kind of "coppers, worship this man" list (no, I'm not a freemason), or whether whines about the police are a bit exaggerated.

Crimes I've been the victim of where the police have been involved:
1) robbery (unarmed but with threats) in the garage where I worked. called police, chavs chased, chavs crashed, chavs arrested, goods returned, statements taken, chavs prosecuted. never bothered finding out what happened to them, though.

2) mugging in the street at knifepoint. didn't get much of a description as I was blind drunk, didn't see him until after he'd grabbed me, and apparently "skinny 6ft-ish black chap with short hair" doesn't narrow it down much. policeman turned up at my house after half an hour, was very friendly, and took lots of details of the stuff that was taken (presumably for fencing purposes).

3) bag stolen from my house through an unlocked door. reported online, since I wasn't expecting anything beyond a crime reference number - instead the police came round after a few hours and dusted the place for prints.

All of this is slightly beyond what I'd expect them to do /even if they were doing their job properly/, never mind if they were a bunch of useless tools who only harrassed motorists.

The Great Simpleton said...

A few years back I was working in Dallas with a few colleagues. I drew the short straw and had to drive on the first day. As you would expect I made a few mistakes and was surprised at how polite the other drivers were, even when I caused them problems.

I mentioned this in the evening to the hotel concierge, a bit of a redneck, and his comment was along the lines of: "of course they were polite, they don't know whether you you have a gun"

countdruncula said...

Just like Somalia then. What a fucking brilliant idea!

Denz said...

cracking post, not sure about the police tho, i tend to sympathise with them cos they have to do their job with 1 hand tied behind their back.

i worked at a place that fitted car parts for them, they are allowed to approach a knife wielding thug, but not allowed to change a bulb on their patrol car cos of health and safety laws

jobsworths: what about if you dare to raise your gob at a telephone banking operator after they have wrongly charged you 35 quid, and they tell you to lower your voice or theyll terminate the call! gets on my tits that one
but the worst of all jobsworths are the ones that blame everything that they do wrong on the "system"

Anonymous said...

England is a country that lives in the past

The second world war
Dad's Army

What exactly has England done of any note since then

The problem with the English is they come to places like this and moan without doing anything about it

And the blame game is in full force

Blame Brussels..only England rubber stamps these laws..every other European country just puts them in the we will see to them sometime pile....

Take the smoking ban in England..all this big talk about we are going to fight this..nothing Spain bars and restaurants asked for an exemption...easy Ireland they built smoking places at the back of the bars

The English are full of hot air and nothing much else....

Anonymous said...

The two cocks of our school both became pigs. Where else could these morons get paid so much for bullying people. Apart from increasing the IQ minimum requirement somebody should have a clinical psycologist study these bastards.
On the point of jobsworth never backing down or admitting fault, this is par for the course with any idiot, but this country could be transformed if they could admit they were wrong every once in a while, and they might also gain some respect. This applied to councils also and the commonality is that they are also morons.

Seamus Breathnach said...

What has happened to the UK?

In 1958 I joined the RAF. It was great: men from all over the commonwealth, national service and the mix of wonderful fellows from all over..... Even an Irish nationalist had to admit that the UK was just something else... something wonderful... or maybe it was that we just all young and healthy.

In any event my memories are precious to me and I came, through a peculiarly hard road of prejudice to love the UK: and have loved it ever since, even I have to admit that it has changed utterly since I was a teenager.....

So, to my mind Britain was always great -- even under Thatcher. And if you could get over her chak rhetoric, her gung-ho inclination and her destruction of Britain's manufacturing base, for a while (before she got palsy-walsy with Ronald Reagan and JP11) , Thatcher's Britain was a damn sight more liberal than Ireland's 'left-wing' could ever imaging.

After Thatcher , however, everything went pear-shaped. The boys in her cabinet brought Thatcher down. That may not be a bad thing, but it brought Tony Blair in with a vengeance, since when he has Polen-ised Britian (if you'll forgive the pun), converted to the one true church, conducted an illegal war, and smiled at us year after year. The only good thing about his rule was that he minimesed the terrorism in NI , as if it never tried to out-Guy Fawkes and actually bomb the British Parliament. In this minimalising of NI terrorism, he was positioning it in the context of a bigger Papal picture, a picture of a world-war crusade agasint Islam,on the one hand, and against (China and Russia) secular society on the other.

If, therefore , you were to ask me what single wrong was done such that Britain could neither foresee the calamity that was Blair the convert nor stop him in his tracks, I would say 'Spitting Image'.

'Spitting Image' wasn't just a comedy show, no more than Dave Allen, Dermot Morgan were or Rory Bremner is. Spitting Image was of a class of humour-creation that penetrated where politicians and journalists could never go. Through personal caricature, it inflitrated the psyche of those possessed of the greatest powers and revealed them ruthlessly in such a way that they predicted the possibilities in British social life.

'Spitting Image", I believe, would have revealed the characater flaws in Blair and in the system generally, long before he sustained a course of unparalleled stupidity.

I can appreciate those who had a fear , a certain distaste for the more savage side of 'Spitting Image", but all in all their value as social commentary far outweighed their seeming coarseness.

I not nothing that actually compares with is essential loss....

Isn't it time to augment Rory Bremner (who I would love to vote for President anywhere, anytime ) with a 'Spitting Image' that actually acts involuntarily as a watchdog of our 'human rights.'??

Seamus Breathnach

Anonymous said...

fair fucks. jobsworths are a truly british cancer. couldnt have put it better meself. the wide streak of hyacinth bouquet that runs through the british psyche.

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