Interviewer: What's your reaction to the Glasgow East By Election?
Prime Minister: Well I think it is important to listen, and that is what we are doing. Taking the difficult, long term decisions is the Job i'm getting on with (false smile) and the job the people want me to do in these difficult times.
Interviewer: Do you think losing your 25th safest seat indicates that the electorate are just a Teensy Weensy bit unhappy with your stewardship?
Goblin King: Not at all. This is all down to rising fuel and energy prices, and I'm here to do the job of taking the long-term, difficult decisions which the people (false smile) want me to do.
Interviewer: Do you think you will be able to prevent challenges to your leadership following this Catastrophe for Labour?
Cyclops: I intend to get on with the job the people all want me to do, which is to take the long, difficult term decisions in the interests of the country in response to international events including rising energy and food price (false smile) s which is causing so much difficulty for the hard working families I am trying to support.
Interviewer: You're a useless cunt without a clue, aren't you?
Snot Gobbler: I'm getting on with the long job taking the difficult events and making people's decisions in response to rising hard working food prices and the global price of families that (false smile) people (look grave and serious) want me to.
Interviewer:If the people indeed want you to get on with the job and take the long-term decisions, why don't you call a General Election?
Gollum:I'm going to take the long term prices of oil and food in the interests of the people who want me to long term the (false smile) job i'm getting on with....

(Prime minister exits stage left at the behest of one of his army of SpAds, to the sound of Snorts of derision from the interviewer and the camera men)

Can anyone tell me that this is not an accurate portrayal of every media interview our spineless lump of a Prime Minister has given since about 3am Friday morning? He's lying to us. We do not want him deciding the colour of his underpants, let alone the Long term responses to the most serious financial crisis in a century. We want a General Election. Last Thursday, if possible, August 7th at the latest. Go sign the petition.