Monday, 5 January 2009

Paying for your Scottish Salmond in Euros

This is a splendid idea and a great example of a forward looking Scotland. I too will be accepting euros as change from stores at the very reasonable rate of 3 euros to the pound. I will also be paying storekeepers in Euros at the rate of 0.5 to the Great British Pound. I suspected the good innkeepers of Scotland with their canny skills in finance would have accepted euros in from foreign tourists at an equally equitable rate. It would seem however that Professional Jock Alex Salmond’s plea has fallen on stony ground. Sorry Alex… despite the belief that gives you sticky sheets in the night – Scotland having Mel Gibson on their Coinage Rather than the Queen - it seems your idea isn’t that popular.

I have been hearing about this Scottish Homecoming celebration for a while. The fact that you probably haven’t heard about it is due to one simple reason. Alex Salmond is rather petulantly ignoring the Foreign office and its resources for promoting this event as they are located in Sassenach land. As a result the only promotion of this event is a photocopied leaflet found inside odd numbered tins of Walkers shortbread. Obviously I wish the Scots the best of British luck holding an event to encourage tourism. Personally I would improve tourism to Scotland by spending the money on sending into space some sort of James Bond type satellite that could laser the entire country’s perma-cloud. Thereby giving the Lochs and glens a sporting chance of seeing some sunlight. The Scots think that celebrating the anniversary of a poet whom nobody understands* and even few people outside Scotland care about is the way forward. Different paths, no regrets. You are also getting a bit of whining from the PC brigade who say Robert Burns was a racist misogynistic drunk who is unfit to promote Scotland’s 2009 Homecoming celebrations. I don’t know, seems eminently qualified to me.

Will I, of Scots ancestry be donning my Montrose Doublette, my great-grandfathers kilt and Grandfathers Tam o’shanter and traversing Hadrian’s Wall. No, obviously not! I will give three reasons. Firstly this is a transparent Plastic Paddy type effort to get gullible Colonials to spend money. And if I wanted to spend time with Brad O’Murphy-McDougall Jr the Third and his family I would get on a plane and fly to Saskatchewan. Secondly my Great-Grandfather loved Scotland so much he preferred the mud and lungful of phosgene on the Western Front to the place. Thirdly, there is a country where the air is clear, the people are friendly and whilst no longer my home in terms of geographical residence is still my spiritual home. Its called Yorkshire and the beer is actually drinkable, and the food is fit for Human consumption.

*On Burns
“O ye wha are sae guid yoursel', Sae pious and sae holy”.
“Had I the wyte, had I the wyte, Had I the wyte? she bade me; She watch'd me by the hie-gate side, And up the loan she shaw'd me”.

QED Total Gibberish



3 comments:

david brough (lancashire) said...

Surely a racist alcoholic is best placed to speak for Scotland. All he needs now is a bit of blind loyalty to Labour.

Mac the Knife said...

It's Salmond; now all you've done is upset millions of tasty fish by implying a link betwixt them and that slippery little Caledonian knobslot...

Jackart said...

Mac: Fancy a job as Travellgal's sub-editor?

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