When (if) I get married, I want to do it in church, because I like the idea of the marriage vows being witnessed by the community of one's friends and family in the place and in the manner it has been done for centuries.
Religious friends think this hypocritical because I am an athiest.
It isn't. In order to make my statement, subtly, I want one of the readings to be one of the more wildly inappropriate Passages from the Old Testament. The Story of Lot's daughters being offered to the mob to rape for example (Gen XIX 1-9), or may be the one where they get their poor old dad drunk and... you know... (Gen XIX 30-38). Or the one where a concubine is thrown to the mob, gets gang-raped and dies (Judges XIX 14-29). Perhaps if that's too close to the bone, then an grossly gynophobic set of instructions Like Leviticus XV 16-30 could be slipped in. These will almost certainly get vetoed. Perhaps one of the meaningless lists would be fun Like Genesis V, if followed by "this is the word of the Lord". Or perhaps one where some random tribe gets it. I mean what had the Midianites ever done to hurt anyone (Numbers XXXI)? Any more suggestions for passages which might be suitable... the comments are open.
A subtle sendup, which will at least have the benefit of finding out who's listening to the service.
Does this make me a bad person?