Monday, 16 August 2010

Graduate Tax

The government – or more specifically the Lib Dum part of it wants to tax the hell out of University education. The rumour (it's in the Guardian so can only be considered rumour) is that the top fifth of earning graduates will pay around £2,000 on top of their tuition fees plus the fees back and interest. They seem to have finally seen the light and rejected a graduate tax for the rather obvious reason that it is a completely avoidable tax – you will just piss off to Canada, Australia, New Zealand or any of the other English speaking countries bar America to do your degree. America because, if you can’t work out that you’re going to a country to study where you can’t drink for another 3 years then you’re too dumb for higher education. Everybody pissing off to the colonies would of course kill English and Welsh universities stone dead – obviously not the Scottish ones whose students get a nice little subsidy from England and Wales.

Whilst I look forward with unrestrained glee to a bunch of student Grants whining about how life is so unfair. They are always protesting about raising taxes on that nebulous class known as “The Rich” so the money can be spent on Eco cars for homeless lesbian dolphins, so it might be fun watching them being hoisted by their own petard. I do however have a better solution. Say university education is not a right but a privilege, restrict it to the top ten percent of the population, and pack the rest off to teach them something useful in a Polly like business management or plumbing. That should save a bit of money.

Oh and whilst you’re at it, make sure you’ve 86’d all the pointless degrees in Media Studies – that will save you even more bags of cash too. Ditto Golf Management Studies, Sociology, American Studies, Surf Science and Technology, Aromatherapy, and all the other more obvious forms of Quackademia. You could also bin Land Economy at Cambridge – if you’re too dumb to get there then join Harlequins or London Wasps to play Rugby.

Travelgall did find this rather intriguing course at the University of Buffalo – “Cyberporn and Society” during his research into Pointless university degrees.



3 comments:

The Fatch said...

I think it is fine to tax students. But this should be done on 2 simple criteria:
1. Did you take a course which only qualifies you to teach that course.
2. Have you ever publicly protested an issue which you do not understand.
If you answer yes to both of these you should be paying the highest tax rate imaginable until the end of time.

Anonymous said...

Or alternatively, no fees for real degrees (science, engineering, medicine, law, accountancy) and wack up the fees on vacuous vanity non-degrees such as soap opera studies, media studies etc.

Demetrius said...

One puzzle for me is that so many students not only end their courses in debt but many of their families have assets and wealth of hundreds of thousands, sometimes more, pounds. Wouldn't it really be easier to up the fees?

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