Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Saddle Up

I think Michael O’Leary of Ryanair just came in his pants. An Italian company has developed seats even more uncomfortable and cramped than the instruments of torture currently fitted to Refugee Airlines. The zeal and passion which “Economy” airlines devote to their goal of driving all pleasure, decency and comfort out of air travel is quite frankly impressive to behold.


Anonymous said...

Just another reason why I never fly! The experience was bad enough last time, before the Gestapo and KGB combined to run the chuck in (sorry, Check in) and expect me to pay more to have my luggage thrown about by crazed Gorillas in a different airport to the one I was going to. The bulk of staff appear to combine the intellect of a sandbag and the ethics of a serial killer.

Anonymous said...

We have cut down on our air travel and only fly when absolutely necessary. I don't understand why people are up in arms in my country about a foreigner being asked to show their green card (the whole purpose of issuing it) but don't seem to care that they have to show their complete naked body to airport employees in order to board a plane.


Weekend Yachtsman said...

Trains are good, I find.

Just completed a return journey from the UK to Italy, all very comfy, nice views, plenty of space, reasonable catering (or take your own picnic, complete with cheap wine).

Nobody asked me to take my shoes off, nobody x-rayed my luggage, nobody stole our picnic knives, nobody treated us like dirt or pointed machine guns at us.

A delightful reminder that travel doesn't have to be miserable.

Travelgall said...

"Trains are good, I find". Not to my favourite spots in the South Pacific they aren't, its OK as far as Vladivostok but becomes a bit of a bind after that. And I find having machine guns pointed at me enlivens an otherwise dull trip. Bolivia was dull as ditchwater until rioters started throwing petrol bombs at the plane on take off and the cops CS Gassed the terminal. I'm sorry Weekend Yachtsman, you're not trying hard enough to squeeze the maximum pleasures out of your holiday.

Europe is OK but since I've visited every country in the EU bar Bulgaria (not prejudiced of course, just haven't got round to it) I've run out of places I can possibly go by train, besides I don't have a spare three days to get there and back. Air travel can be great, sitting under a palm tree in the BVI springs to mind, my private plane and pilot on a flying Safari over Namibia is another, but with Ryanair and their ilk trying to suck every last ounce of style, decency and panache from the air travel experience.

Jen, I assume you're American. I can understand your reluctance to air travel. Getting through a US airport is a truly dreadful experience. Probably the worst in the world. I would rather change planes in the Imam Khomeini International Airport in an IDF T-shirt than go through US immigration. The fact that they tax me $20 to pay for propaganda to encourage me to visit a country I am already visiting is a further kick in the nuts.

But pass through the other side of US Immigration and you visit a pleasant and wonderful country. So its worth it. You might find the same if you get on a plane yourself and visit somewhere outside the US. Obviously not France. I'll do naked handstands in front of the check in staff if it means I get to revisit Aguas Calientes in Chile, Angkor Watt in Cambodia, Machu Picchu in Peru Have another Lime Daiquiri on a beach in Tonga, sail a boat through the Fjords of Norway, bathe in the Blue Lagoon of Iceland or play Polo again with the Argentinean Pampas stretching on forever as a backdrop. Hell If I get to do all that again, my naked arse will have a sparkler clamped twixt butt cheeks just so I get extra points for originality.

Travelgall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Fatch said...

As a man with no possessions and the desire to fly to the outskirts of popular destinations where there is only an airport to be found I find Ryan Air to be outstanding.

Anonymous said...

I just saw a picture of the new saddle seat and all I have to say is, "you've got to be kidding!" Airline travel is such a miserable experience, especially here in the US.

This summer our flight was delayed which then meant we had to run through the airport to catch our connecting flight. My husband refuses to pay the $45 fee per bag on principle so he loads everyone up like a pack mule. I of course have the job of not only carrying my luggage but that of my daughter's as she is too small to carry all her things and keep up. He yells to hurry up while I navigate our 5 year old through the crowds. I wonder how many people filed for divorce after their flying experience. There isn't 5 minutes to stop and take a whiz and when you arrive on the plane the bathrooms are disgustingly filthy. Even the stewardesses were upset that the plane didn't have enough time to have a cleaning crew come in before the next flight.

We hadn't eaten for several hours and the stewardess announces that our snack for today will be a mint.

That's it, I will never fly again. Delayed flights, giving up your personal privacy, filthy bathrooms, nickel and diming you for everything, uncomfortable seating that they now want to replace with a saddle or what some call the nut buster so they can make more money.

.....that must be one helluva lime daiquiri Travelgall, giddy up.


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