Monday, 10 January 2011

Fly the friendly skies

You probably didn’t notice that another Iranian aircraft smashed into the ground Sunday night. And if you did the thing you are feeling is not Déjà vu, you really have heard this before – a hell of a lot to be frank. That’s a grand total of 17 crashes and 951 fatalities in the last decade (the UK has had 4 crashes and 14 Deaths over the same period, you can imagine how many more flights the UK has not being international pariahs). Now I know the Iranian government doesn’t give two shits about the vast majority Iranian people, but even they must be starting to get bored about appearing at crash sites. It must be costing them a fortune in onions to fake the tears, there’s the damage to their loafers with all that Avgas all over the place, and you can’t burn American flags within 500 metres of the wreckage.

Blaming Mossad for training Pigeons to fly into the intakes of your jets might work a couple of times – I suppose it’s a bit less ridiculous than blaming Mossad for shark attacks. But its starting to wear a bit thin as an excuse and your people will start to wonder why you can’t keep the bloody things in the air.

Naturally Travelgall has a solution. Stop spending all your time developing nuclear weapons, start spending it on developing ground proximity radar. Stop spending your money on rockets and other things designed to crash into Israeli dirt, and instead start spending it on things designed to stay aloft, built after D B Cooper’s parachute failed to open. The Americans will now gladly sell you them now you have all that spare cash lying around.



4 comments:

the_mehran said...

And the irony is that Iran Air under the Shah had one of the best records of flight safety in the world. The mullahs' putrid regime is an interesting political phenomenon: evil and incompetent at the same time.

DC said...

Surely partly due to sanctions - the military have the funds to bypass the sanctions using front companies, etc but I suspect Iran Air does not. I'm pretty sure plane spares are controlled as 'dual use' items.

We can't reverse engineer spare parts for the old VC10s and Tristars so there's no reason they should be able to do so with their plane parts.

Anonymous said...

I agree with DC who said that it is probably the effect of the restrictions on Dual Use items to Iran which may be a part of this problem.

As regards parts for VC10's they can be remade but it is an expensive job needing specialist skills and materials which would probably be out of reach of the Iranians. Also as you say the Iranian military probably have agents and front companies to procure for them.

Travelgall said...

Actually their Military aircraft are junk too. They are coping with ageing F-14's left over from the Shah. And they lost 94 + 12 on the ground when a Iranian Air Force Lockheed C-130 crashed in 2005, the Iranian AF lost another 2Hercules in 2003 and 2000 with just their crew. The Revolutionary Guard - Iran's SS aren't exempt with the extra cash chucked at them. They crashed 3, with the largest fatality total (275) in an Ilyushin 76MD. The lost of Revolutionary Guards is of course no loss.

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