The Godly folks at the CofE have decided they need to introduce text speak into the baptism. Now normally I’d leave this to somebody more qualified to comment but quite frankly I can’t resist.
Surely the whole point of God is that he’s a constant in an ever changing world. The place where security is found. Instead you have the Vicar giving you flashbacks by speaking like the chavs who relieved you of your wallet outside - Standard. There’s a right and a wrong and remarkably little wiggle room unless you’re the one who starts the religion in the first place. No wonder everybody who is religious has buggered off and joined the left footers, who only apologised to Galileo in 2000 for booting him out of the Church when he said the world went round the sun.
They don’t need to change the words to suit the goldfish attention span generation, they just need to bring back some sort of excitement to the words they’re uttering. Now I know Vicars have about 40 churches and 80000 old people to look after. But if you can’t get excited about the most important ½ hour of the job then you’re in the wrong game. It would be like a pilot getting bored with the takeoffs and landings. If a vicar is still stuck, he should just watch James Brown in the Blues Brothers.
Personally I regret the day the Church changed the marriage service from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer into 1960’s hippie speak…
and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understandingMarvellous.