Everyone who listens to BBC Radio 4's Today program will know what the "Fuck off!" moment is. It is that moment when a story ascends its own bowel in a display of utter political-class inanity. For me, it is generally the second profanity of the day (the first thing I check being Viz Magazine's App, the Daily Profanity whence the title of this blog post). This explusion usually occurs within the first few minutes of listening to the radio.
Today I was running into work, listening to 'Today' when this story nearly caused me to jump under the bus. It's one of those moments when you realise the political class is so far from understanding the concerns of the people that you feel we're doomed. The politicians neither understand the limits of their power, nor understand appropriate causes on which to deploy it.
All school children should take part in compulsory body image and self-esteem lessons, MPs have recommended.Fuck off. I yelled to the confusion of the dog-walking lady nearby, to whom I apologise. FUCK OFF! What possible good can "body image" lessons for do? The fat kids will still be fat, while the thin ones will be forced to sit in a lesson which they feel irrelevant to them, and will give them another reason to persecute fatty-fatty fat-fat sitting at the front. Fatty's mum will still be feeding him chips, while little organza is brought up on organic hummus. There's nothing that can be done by Government about the dice roll of family cooking practices.
It comes after an inquiry by the All Party Parliamentary Group on body image heard evidence that more than half of the public has a negative body image.
If you're not happy with your body - 50% of us aren't, apparently - have a salad and go for a run. You know what to do, and it really isn't any of the Government's business. Apart from encouraging from a bit of PT in schools that is, but that's offputting to girls and discriminatory to the overweight, so playing fields have been sold off.
The bigger problem is that the kind of levers Government can pull simply aren't appropriate for the problem they're trying to solve. MPs should have seen the report they're discussing and concluded there's little, if anything they can do. Body-image classes are at best a useless waste of time and teaching resources, and at worst appallingly counterproductive.
Yet the politicians, egged on by Westminster-village busybodies in the think-tanks and "third-sector", dutifully reported on by the BBC go on creating these stupid, idiotic announcements, and the people feel harassed, over governed and patronised. Worse, the politicians have real problems to solve, and this niff-naff and trivia seems like fiddling while Rome burns.
Politicians: you want to know why you're held in utter contempt. Listen to your constituents listen to you on the radio. Work out what makes them say "just FUCK OFF!" out loud at the radio. You'll find it's things like this. What we eat & drink for example is simply none of your business. Go Away. Leave us alone. FUCK OFF.