Thursday, 8 June 2017

Montgomery Brewster's 'None of the Above' would walk this election.

It's actually quite liberating to follow politics without a team to shout for. I remain a Conservative by inclination. I like free markets, economic liberalism and so forth even if the Conservative manifesto doesn't seem to all that much, Tories, if not their leadership, are mainly for these things. I am also a social liberal, I remain committed to an open and tolerant society. However the Liberal Democrats risk becoming the Church of England does Politics, being stuffed with the kind of dry, shabby inadequate who can't quite get over his (self) loathing of homosexuality. I dislike May. I think she's a narrow-minded provincial bigot who's been promoted way, way above her level of competence. She is however the best of the two candidates for Prime Minister. 


Let's not pretend Corbyn was doing other than palling around with the IRA in the 1980s because the glamour of "anti-imperialist" terrorists excited him. He has always supported whoever was fighting the UK at the time, and doesn't deserve to be an MP, let alone to reverse those letters. Labour's clown-car economics is only marginally less risible than the Tories offer, this time round. The difference is Labour actually believe their silliness, and they're led by a traitor. 

If you live in Scotland, this election is about independence. If you live in NI, then this election is about the tribal headcount. If you live elsewhere this election is whether you want an incompetent nanny-state provincial Tory or an antediluvian Socialist to deliver Brexit. It's a shabby, and dispiriting affair. If you can't work out how to vote, you can always vote for Montgomery Brewster. None of the above is appealing. But if you feel you MUST vote, then I have prepared a handy flow-chart to help you.

If you despise politicians, you get despicable politicians.
This shabby parade of also-rans from which we have to choose on today (without any actual choice on the main, nay only, issue of the day) is the logic of calling decent, capable people like Blair, Cameron and Major "war criminals" and "Traitors", for decades. It pollutes the language for when you actually get some of these things on the offer.
No worthwhile people will put up with the scrutiny and abuse heaped daily on politicians. So you get the kind of bore for whom the scrutiny isn't an issue. They've never done anything interesting in the their lives. At least David Cameron dropped some E and went to a rave or two as a youth. What does Theresa May, who spent her twenties complaining about the promotion of lesbianism in schools, know of fun? As for Corbyn, he looks like the kind of man for whom a perfect saturday night is treatise on Marx (so long as it contains nothing he doesn't already know and agree with) with some lovely mineral water. He is the Labour man Orwell warned you about.

I'll be voting Tory. Why? My local headbanging Leadsomite hard-brexiter has stood down after his colossal act of vandalism, to be replaced by a man with whom I seem to agree.
My expectations are of a  Tory majority around 75, on a low turnout, and they will have half a dozen seats in Scotland.  The Liberal Democrats will take Vauxhall and Twickenham, losing in Sheffield Hallam (the "were you up for...?" moment as Clegg loses his seat), but holding Orkney and Shetland against the SNP, remaining about where they are now overall. Or that's where my betting is at the moment.
What do I want to see happen? I'd like to see May remain PM but in a hung parliament, reliant on Northern Irish politicians for her majority because let's face it, she deserves nothing better.
A rubbish show all round but at least I can enjoy it, whoever loses.



9 comments:

david morris said...

Sorry

You lost me after describing Blair & Cameron decent & capable

The Campbell said...

Tories will pick up 6-8 seats in Scotland, Ruth Davidson has done a very good job at picking away at the blatantly shitty record of SNP governance. Therea May ain't no Cameron that's for sure but the only sensible choice. Lib Dems taking Vauxhall - does that mean that dickhead Cable will be back?

Christopher Adshead said...

Well Very British Dude you got what you wanted. I hope Mrs. May resigns as Prime Minister and let someone capable and inspiring take over the job. I doubt that will happen though as she seems to want to carry on as Prime Minister.

I did find this election to be a bore though and hope we don't have to do it again in the next two years.

Jackart said...

October.

Al C said...

Whadaya know! You were right!

Anonymous said...

October you say. Oh good, another chance to short Sterling!

Simon Jester said...

"My local headbanging Leadsomite hard-brexiter"

Unless you've moved (to a different parliamentary constituency) recently, I seem to recall you referring to him in somewhat different terms, not that long ago...

:))

Gardener Fisher said...

What a sensible post. I could not agree more, May is a very second best option, but Corbin is very much a third rate option. Oh the joy.

Jackart said...

SJ: I have agreed with him on nearly everything else, but he was one of the "bastards" and supported Leadsom, and has gone on the record supporting the hardest of hard brexits. This is absolutely a policy-based rejection. He stood for a strongly remain constituency, and I suspect this is part of the reason why Peter Lilley stood down.

There was an error in this gadget